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Funny Tweets
"the irish catholic goodbye is when you leave a party and then feel really really guilty about it"
"I got my car stuck in the mud while out with my kids. In related news, I owe $365 to the swear jar."
"I get it dogs, I too want a little treat when I do something right"
"my cat just walks up to me, says what I can only believe to be a slur & just saunters away."
WHAT'S HAPPENING
"my cat talks a mad amount of s**t for being a creature i can easily pick up and wiggle"
"love when a dog has a stupid name. what do you mean this idiot answers to Typewriter"
"cant explain it but travis kelce has ginger cat energy"
"too many white cats being named things like snowball or marshmallow. what about freaky ass white boy"
"Garfield hating Mondays without having a job is stolen valor."
"Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university."
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