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Posted: 2019-01-14T18:53:59Z | Updated: 2020-02-26T03:57:26Z Kate Middleton's Brother, James, Writes A Moving Essay About His Depression | HuffPost

Kate Middleton's Brother, James, Writes A Moving Essay About His Depression

"It is an illness, a cancer of the mind," wrote James Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge's younger brother.
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Kate Middleton’s younger brother, James Middleton, opened up about his struggle with clinical depression in a moving essay for the Daily Mail published Friday. 

Middleton, who said he was speaking out because he supports his royal relatives’ campaign to remove the stigma from mental illness, described his condition as “a cancer of the mind” that made him feel like a “complete failure.”

“I know I’m richly blessed and live a privileged life,” wrote Middleton, 31. “But it did not make me immune to depression. It is tricky to describe the condition. It is not merely sadness. It is an illness, a cancer of the mind.” 

He added: “It’s not a feeling but an absence of feelings. You exist without purpose or direction. I couldn’t feel joy, excitement or anticipation – only heart-thudding anxiety propelled me out of bed in the morning. I didn’t actually contemplate suicide — but I didn’t want to live in the state of mind I was in either.” 

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James Middleton arrives for the 20th GQ Men of the Year Award on Nov.8, 2018 in Berlin, Germany.
Matthias Nareyek via Getty Images

Middleton wrote that he had feelings of being a “complete failure” and “going crazy.” Still, he said he kept his struggles hidden from his family and friends, failing to reach out or return concerned texts. 

Eventually, he reached a breaking point and sought help from a psychiatrist. Middleton ended up getting tested for attention deficit disorder and going to cognitive behavioral therapy (which he still does) to deal with his depression. 

“I feel compelled to talk about it openly because this is precisely what my brother-in-law Prince William, my sister Catherine and Prince Harry are advocating through their mental health charity Heads Together, ” wrote Middleton, a businessman.

“They believe we can only tackle the stigma associated with mental illness if we have the courage to change the national conversation, to expel its negative associations,” he added. “So it wouldn’t be honest to suppress my story. I want to speak out, and they are my motivation for doing so.” 

William, Kate and Harry have made a point of speaking openly about mental health and its importance. The Duchess of Cambridge, in a piece she wrote for HuffPost UK , explained why parents should speak to their children about their own mental health, given that it’s just as important as their physical health. 

“Like most parents today, William and I would not hesitate to seek help for our children if they needed it,” she wrote.

“We hope to encourage George and Charlotte to speak about their feelings, and to give them the tools and sensitivity to be supportive peers to their friends as they get older. We know there is no shame in a young child struggling with their emotions or suffering from a mental illness.” 

Royal news doesn’t stop at the wedding. Subscribe to HuffPost’s Watching the Royals newsletter  for all things Windsor (and beyond).

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National  Suicide Prevention Lifeline . You can also text HOME to 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line . Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention  for a database of resources.

Before You Go

Princess Eugenie's Royal Wedding
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Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank kiss on the steps of St. George's Chapel. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Princess Charlotte served as a bridesmaid at the wedding, while Prince George was a page boy. (credit:Yahoo Canada Style)
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Sarah Ferguson making a face as she exits the car to head to St. George's Chapel. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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A guest chases after a woman's hat. (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
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The Duchess of Sussex smiles in St. George's Chapel. (credit:Harper's Bazaar)
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Eugenie makes a face at her groom. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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The "Union Jack Man" camping out before the royal wedding. (credit:Joe Giddens - PA Images via Getty Images)
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Eugenie making her way up the steps to the chapel. (credit:Getty Editorial)
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A page boy takes a tumble in the blustery conditions. (credit:Getty Editorial)
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Model Cara Delevingne makes her way to the nuptials. (credit:Reuters)
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Princess Beatrice and Sarah Ferguson enter the chapel. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Prince Harry entering the chapel where he married Meghan Markle just a few months ago. (credit:Reuters)
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The new husband and wife kiss on the steps of St. George's Chapel. (credit:POOL New / Reuters)
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Ellie Goulding arrives. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Jack Brooksbank slips a wedding band on Eugenie's finger (the groom will not wear one). (credit:POOL New / Reuters)
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Naomi Campbell gives a look at the royal wedding. (credit:Reuters)
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Prince Andrew and Princess Eugenie ascend the stairs together. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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A guest tries to hold on to her fascinator amidst all the wind. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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A lone guest takes her seat. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Chelsy Davy, a friend of Eugenie who once dated Prince Harry, arrives. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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A bridesmaid gives a wave to the crowds. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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The parents of the bride and groom and the page boy and bridesmaids gather outside the chapel after the ceremony. (credit:Reuters)
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Pixie Geldof looking pretty in pink. (credit:Reuters)
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A fan gets ready for the royal wedding. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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More guests arrive. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Hold on to your hats! (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Securing the area outside the castle. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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A guest heads into the chapel. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Jimmy Carr arrives. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Pre-wedding chats. (credit:Reuters)
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A shot of the grounds before the wedding. (credit:Reuters)
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Fans gathered before the ceremony. (credit:Reuters)
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A shot of the gorgeous flowers and foliage outside the chapel. (credit:Reuters)
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A fan before the wedding of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank. (credit:HuffPost UK)
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Comedian Jack Whitehall enters the chapel. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Members of the public watch as the guests arrive. (credit:Evening Standard)
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Robbie Williams enters the chapel. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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Stephen Fry heads into the ceremony. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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The ultimate royals fan. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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More flags before the ceremony. (credit:Doug Peters/EMPICS Entertainment)
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The bride and her father pull up to the venue. (credit:Reuters)
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Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. (credit:PA Wire/PA Images)
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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex sit with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. (credit:PA)
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A shot of the husband and wife! (credit:Reuters)