What Survivors Think of the Golden Globes

People keep asking me, What do survivors feel about the protests at the Golden Globes? and Ive hesitated to respond. I dont know what all survivors feel: Im just one survivor (I was molested and beaten for a year when I was 16), and what I feel is exhilaration: the world has finally synched up with what I know. Other people see the danger and want to help.

But there are as many experiences as there are survivors, and the movement risks alienating many important allies (including some notable liberals and feminists) if it insists that all offenses and constituencies are the same. Its one thing for us to join together under the #MeToo moniker. Now its time to start making distinctions and defining terms.

Which means weve got to start differentiating between workplace discrimination, and persistent harassment, and assault, and prolonged exposure to violence, to say nothing of the rape culture on college campuses, where one in four women is vulnerable to attack, which has been hardly mentioned on the red carpet. Im all for solidarity, but I believe its possible to be inclusive and also specific about whos responsible and whats at stake.

I know subtlety is in short supply these days, as I was reminded several weeks ago, when I spoke to a New York reporter about the Oscar winner who harassed me many years ago. I spoke up only because he had made grand gestures of support for his son, who allegedly was molested by Kevin Spacey. But this actor, the boys father, had harassed me constantly over the two years we worked together on a television special about the U.S. Constitution. (It may be the first time a predator tried to seduce someone with the Bill of Rights.) In script meetings, he would constantly brush up against me or mouth the words I want to fuck you. On work trips, hed spend the night with his ear to the hotel room wall, listening to my movements in the room next door. Once, when I was invited to a script meeting in his movie trailer he exposed himself to me, the only part of the story he denies, but the part that captures most peoples attention. Which is why, out of the blue, I got a call from a major morning news show, asking if I would I do an interview in Los Angeles that very afternoon. They would send a car.

Within minutes, the associate producer had called to vet me.

I didnt want to go on national television and talk about this mans penis, I said, with uncharacteristic boldness.

But thats what makes you newsworthy, he said.

Id like to talk about putting more women in positions of power. Or electing more legislators who care about the rights of women and children. Or about education: how do we teach our daughters to use their voices? I want to talk about the future, where we go from here.

There was a long pause.

Hold on. I need to talk to my boss.

Another long silence followed, and then he was back on the phone, We cant talk about political stuff because were a news organization. We have to talk about what makes you newsworthy.

The guys penis? Thats just salacious, I said. Then I had another idea. What if I mention why my name is in the news, then pivot to talk about all the women who cant speak out because theyre married to their abusers or have children with their abusers or need a paycheck from their abusers. Did you know the rate of reporting of domestic violence has fallen 40% in immigrant communities since the rise of Trump?

Thats interesting, he said. Hold on a minute. In several minutes, he was back. Look, he said, Id love to talk with you about these things personally, but we cant do that on the show. Were going to have to cancel the interview.

I looked out my office window and, as if on cue, their black limousine glided away.

We never talked about women who dont have limousines waiting outside their homes, who dont have homes; who are battered daily or traded for sex. Whose lives wont be improved by gatherings in which people exchange heartfelt sympathies and celebrate cable television projects. Who need legislation and protection STAT.

In the fog of the present war, weve got to remember whos most vulnerable. The brutality of discrimination is shared, but its wounds are specific, and so are its remedies. Many people in power want us to think the world is digital, finite, but its as multihued as the gowns that never made it to the Golden Globes. The wholesale lumping together of experiences risks vitiating them all. #timesup #goldenglobes