12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently

Confidence takes many forms, from the arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet self-assurance of Jane Goodall. True confidenceas opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecuritieshas a look all its own.

When it comes to confidence, one thing is certain: truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because they inspire others and they make things happen.

Whether you think you can, or you think you cantyoure right. - Henry Ford

Fords notion that your mentality has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed is manifest in the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne that showed that confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than anyone else.

Learning to be confident is clearly important, but what is it that truly confident people do that sets them apart from everyone else?

I did some digging to uncover the 12 cardinal habits of truly confident people so that you can incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.

1. They Get Their Happiness from Within

Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are.

People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, as opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments. They know that no matter what anyone says, youre never as good or as bad as people say you are.

2. They Dont Pass Judgment

Confident people dont pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they dont need to take other people down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people dont waste time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.

3. They Dont Say Yes Unless They Really Want To

Research conducted at the University of California in Berkeley shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make their nos clear. When its time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such as I dont think I can or Im not certain. They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

4. They Listen More than They Speak

People with confidence listen more than they speak because they dont feel as though they have anything to prove. Confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know that this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.

5. They Speak with Certainty

Its rare to hear the truly confident utter phrases such as Um, Im not sure, and I think. Confident people speak assertively because they know that its difficult to get people to listen to you if you cant deliver your ideas with conviction.

6. They Seek Out Small Victories

Confident people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases their confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

7. They Exercise

A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competent socially, academically, and athletically. They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher. Best of all, rather than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in confidence, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise that made all the difference.

8. They Dont Seek Attention

People are turned off by those who are desperate for attention. Confident people know that being yourself is much more effective than trying to prove that youre important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what, or how many, people you know. Confident people always seem to bring the right attitude.

Confident people are masters of attention diffusion. When theyre receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there. They dont crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.

9. They Arent Afraid to Be Wrong

Confident people arent afraid to be proven wrong. They like putting their opinions out there to see if they hold up because they learn a lot from the times they are wrong and other people learn from them when theyre right. Self-assured people know what they are capable of and dont treat being wrong as a personal slight.

10. They Stick Their Necks Out

When confident people see an opportunity, they take it. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, they ask themselves, Whats stopping me? Why cant I do that? and they go for it. Fear doesnt hold them back because they know that if they never try, they will never succeed.

11. They Celebrate Other People

Insecure people constantly doubt their relevance, and because of this, they try to steal the spotlight and criticize others in order to prove their worth. Confident people, on the other hand, arent worried about their relevance because they draw their self-worth from within. Instead of insecurely focusing inward, confident people focus outward, which allows them to see all the wonderful things that other people bring to the table. Praising people for their contributions is a natural result of this.

12. They Arent Afraid to Ask for Help

Confident people know that asking other people for help wont make them seem weak or unintelligent. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they look to others to fill the gaps. They also know that learning from someone with more expertise is a great way to improve.

Bringing It All Together

Building confidence is a journey, not a destination. Please share your thoughts on the matter in the comments section as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Want to learn more from me? Check out my book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 .